| According to a big amount of research, a number of people in the 25-34 age group who are not married exceeded a number of people in the same age group who are married. More couples are choosing Cohabitation over Marriage and Family Life.
I've thought much of it, and I would like to share my ideas with you... I've read books, ezines, browsed the Internet searching for topics which concern social problems. I've communicated with lots of interesting and sometimes absolutely unlike one to another people, and I've always tried to analyze their deeds and the reasons for being together. As it turns out, Cohabitation is not the same as Family Life when it comes to outcomes.
Swings and roundabouts
To my mind, all the main points are clear. Setting up Cohabitation is a reasonable everyday need. "Together is easier than alone…” But unlike Family Life Cohabitation doesn’t assume strong relationships (neither spiritual, nor purely everyday ones). There lives one man, the other one settles next to him (her) - it’s easier. There are no costly changes, that’s why if their plans change, parting and moving into separate homes won’t be a shock.
- Had a drink, packed the things… 'Ave new life!
Setting up a Family is something different. It means not just living together but making YOUR MUTUAL WORLD – both spiritually and materially.
As it often happens, having a Family you must change your lodgings, job and way of life. And all these are serious life changes, especially, if you’ve got a child… And, at least, if you're a girl, and you've made up your mind to live with a man, then you stop seeking some other alternatives.
- "Where am I going to live?” This question is not only "Where are we going to sleep?” You need to have your own space furnished for you.
- And time marches on… The best years of your life go by…
When you just live together, you have maximum freedom. You come and go away whenever you like, as long as you have the key so that you don't disturb the others. But it's completely different when it concerns a family life because family makes a man tied with invisible knots, and your life belongs not only to you but also to your half.
There appear some typical differences in sharing responsibilities. When you shack up together, you are less considerate to each other: need something – it’s your problem. But being a Family you’re more responsible: personal needs become mutual.
But in fact, it's not the only thing, I guess. And the main difference between Family and Cohabitation is the COST of making your life more comfortable (I mean not only money). If you pay no attention to outraged shouts of public, Cohabitation is always cheaper because, in fact, you don’t even make your life comfortable (just come and live). But Family Life appears to be a bit too expensive.
That’s right! Family sounds good, but it costs pretty money to make it. While separating might appear much costlier. Can you remember your freedom when living together? At every trifle you sniff and separate for a day or two.
- Or for a week, or forever. And it’s no problem.
Family is another matter. A friend of a friend of mine divorced and got married to his wife three times. According to him the heaviest thing in that procedure was lifting her piano up the stairs (they live on the fifth floor).
But usually it’s less humor and more pain… And, at last, having made a decision on making a Family, you left your job for his sake; he spent all his money on buying a new flat. He bought it. You lived there for a short while and divorced in five years... Final result: you're out of work and with your child; he’s out of flat and away from his son. Both of you are depressed and in an emotional crisis.
- Something is not going on well.
So, this is just my reflection on the question under review. And what do you think of it?
Do you cohabitate (if you do) for the economy reasons or some others? Are there more important reasons that you choose to cohabitate? Do you cohabitate out of convenience without a plan to make a family or do you cohabitate with the intent to make a family?